Grief is something we will all face in life, and it takes on many forms. Each loss affects us differently, and we all grieve in our own ways. But how does golf relate to this deeply personal experience? In my years of coaching, I’ve seen first-hand how grief can affect a person’s ability to focus and perform, both on and off the course.
I’ve worked with golfers who struggled to keep their game together, only to later reveal they had experienced a significant loss. Their game was suffering not just because of their technique but because they were physically and emotionally drained. The demands of grief—organising a funeral, managing financial affairs, dealing with the immense emotional weight—left them unable to concentrate.
Acknowledging their grief allowed them to take a step back and use golf as an outlet, a way to simply get outside, chase a ball, and let go of some of the tension.
Golf offers perspective in times of grief. Suddenly, a missed putt doesn’t seem so significant when you’ve faced far greater challenges. Many of my students find their attitude toward the game shifts after a loss. For some, the course becomes a space for reflection and healing; for others, it’s a way to honour the memory of a loved one. Everyone’s response is different, and there’s no right or wrong way to integrate golf into the grieving process.
I’ve come to understand the powerful role golf can play in recovery. One of my students, Sue, lost her husband suddenly in 2022. While arranging the wake at a local golf club, she realised that golf could be a helpful distraction. She began taking lessons with me, and what started as a way to pass time quickly became a source of comfort. Sue found not just a new hobby but also a community. I introduced her to another member, Lynne, who had experienced a similar loss. Together, they found solace in each other’s company, both on and off the course.
Sue’s story is a testament to the healing power of golf. She relishes the beauty of the course, the satisfaction of hitting a good shot, and the companionship of her new found friends. Golf has given her a space to laugh, cry, and process her grief at her own pace.
Research shows that prolonged loneliness can have a detrimental effect on our health, as damaging as smoking. When you lose a loved one, it’s easy to isolate yourself, feeling disconnected from the world as others continue their lives. But getting outside, engaging in a physical activity, and being part of a community can offer immense support. For those new to golf, like Sue, the sport can provide structure, distraction, and a chance to form new connections.
But what about seasoned golfers who have experienced a loss? For those with years of experience, the impact of grief on their game can be profound. However, grief can also drive some players to achieve great things. Justin Rose, for instance, rose to success following the death of his father. Mel Reid won her first LET title after her mother’s sudden death. Darren Clarke’s participation in the 2006 Open was in doubt after losing his wife to cancer, but he triumphed, winning all three of his matches and delivering an emotional performance. His 2011 Open victory was particularly poignant, as he felt his wife’s presence with him throughout the tournament. Grief can sometimes push athletes to dig deep, playing not just for themselves but for the memory of those they’ve lost.
However, for others, grief can derail their game entirely. Golf has a way of revealing our vulnerabilities, and emotions we’ve been hiding can surface during a round. I experienced this first-hand when I lost my son to cancer in 2016. For months, I avoided the course, preferring to stay busy coaching others rather than confronting my own pain. But eventually, I returned to play. One day, during a round at Celtic Manor, a memory was triggered, and I found myself sitting in a bunker, sobbing. The sand reminded me of a beach I used to visit with my son, and in that moment, the floodgates opened.
Grief doesn’t have a timeline. People often assume that time will heal all wounds, but the truth is, grief is something you learn to live with. It doesn’t disappear; your life simply grows around it. Some days, the weight of it feels lighter, and on other days, it hits you like a tidal wave. The golf course, with its quiet and open spaces, can either provide a place for peace or trigger powerful emotions.
For those facing loss, it’s important to know when you’re ready to return to certain activities and to be aware of the potential triggers. Golf, with its slow pace and time for reflection, can be a place to release pent-up emotions. It’s a space where we can acknowledge that grief doesn’t follow a neat, predictable path.
Ultimately, golf can be a powerful tool for navigating grief. It offers moments of distraction, community, and self-reflection. It teaches us to accept the things we cannot change and to move forward, one shot at a time. For those who’ve lost someone dear, golf may be just the outlet they need, offering solace and a reminder to appreciate the time we have.